Mystery Warner Theater 3000: The Movie
by Koopa Kid
Summary: Yakko, Archie, and George are having a good time as usual. But aliens get involved in the mix and threaten to destroy earth! Can they save the world while still being humorous... of course!


**Mystery Warner Theater 3000: The Movie**

**Dot: Hey guys! I've got a surprise for you!**

**George: Is it a slice of moldy cheese again?**

**Dot: Nope! Look on the moniter and see for yourself!**

**Yakko and the bots get up from their seats and look at the moniter.**

**Yakko: This is great! We're heading towards earth!**

**Archie: Why's that so important?**

**Yakko: That's my home-planet!**

**George: Whatever. I think Baldylox and Mr. No-Pants are calling.**

**He slams on the yellow button and Scratchansniff and Wakko appear on-screen.**

**Dr. Scratchansniff: I see you're headed towards Earth now. Well before we chase you down I decided to give you you're most horrifying experiment ever!**

**Archie: I can hardly wait.**

**The movie sign beeps and Yakko and the bots go into their seats.**

**Calvaddin**

**a fanfic by Sonicmario**

**based on the Dysney movie "Aladdin" and many numerouse comic strips. **

**Yakko: Including Family Circus, Dennis the Menace, and Cathy!**

Across the vast desert, a lone rider on a camel rode across the sand. Out of nowhere the figure began to sing:

_**Oh I come from a land**_

_**from a faraway place**_

**Archie: Canada.**

_**where the caravan llamas roam**_

_**wher its flat and immense**_

_**and the heat is intense**_

_**its barbaric, but hey- its home!**_

**George: Still Canada!**

_**when the winds at your back,**_

_**and the glass in the sand is right**_

_**come on down,**_

_**stop on by,**_

_**to another comic stripian niiiiiiight!**_

_**Comic stripian NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIghts!**_

_**Like Comic stripian DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAys!**_

_**more often than not,**_

_**are hotter then hot,**_

_**in a lot of good waaaaaaaaaays!**_

_**COMIC STRIPIAN NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS!**_

_**'neath comic stripian moooooooons!**_

_**a fool of his gaurd**_

_**could fall and fall hard**_

_**out there on the duuuuunes!**_

**Yakko: Now the anonimous voice demands sacrifice!**

the person halted the camel in the city of comicaba. He dismounted his camel and revield his hood. It was none other than everyones favorite chubby cat, Garfield!

"greetings!" he said to the audiance. "please, please, come closer!"

**George: "I must eat you!"**

Immidiatly, the camera zipped right into Garfeild's face. "URGH! too close!"

The camera zoomed a few feet away.

"ah, much better. Anyway, welcome to comicaba, city of comic strip characters that all live together in harmony. Sort of. This city is full of many wonders and mystery...

**Yakko: Like for example: why is everone fighting over a piece of meatloaf? **

...AND THE FINEST MERCHENDISE ON THIS SIDE OF THE PLANET! ON SALE TODAY! C'MON DOWN!"

Garfeild puled out an assortment of random items...

"heh. look at this, fine cigar lighter and tea brewer combination- also makes genuine potatoes! and it will NEVER break!"

just as he said this, it fell to peices...

**Archie: And that's why there's no more commercials.**

..."um.. OK! look! this case holds the rare and beutifull JNJZDJVHJDHVXNDKJEUHIDVVNQ bug! look look look watch!"

Garfeild opend the case a teeny bit and blew a small rasberry.

"ah, its still good."

the camera suddenly started to move away from Gar's stand.

"WAIT DONT GO!" he shouted...

**Yakko: "You forgot to hug me!"  
** ..."I see you are only interested in extremly rare and delecate objects. well then, feast your eyes on... THIS!" and then he pulled out what looked like a gravy boat.

"do not be fooled by its outside appearance, for it is what is _inside_ that counts." said Gar...

**George: Exactly! On the outside it looks like crap but on the inside it's filled with trash!**

...the camera started to move again.

"THISISNOORDINARYLAMP!" Garfeild quickly said. "It once changed the course of a young boys life, a boy who was more than he seemed, a diamond in the rough..."

**Yakko, Archie, and George: What?!**

...he started to take out some sparkily sand.  
"do you want to hear the tale? Ok then... It started on a Dark Night..."

**Archie: And that's when the ninjas attacked!**

...and with that, Garfeild threw the sand in the air and easily matched the stars showing brightly in the sky...

In the middle of the desert, in the middle of the night, a figure glared into the night...

**George: That figure happened to be...**

**Archie: Elvis Presly!**

...He was wearing a red shirt with white bands going around the back and ended with gold squares. He had black pants with boots that connected with it, and white gloves with orange-yellow sleeve cuffs. His torso was chubby,...

**Yakko: Looks like he has to lay off his diet consisting off of 500 hotdogs!**

...but his arms and legs were thin. He had a longish nose with a huge mustache below it. He was bald, Had large, futuristic goggles on top of his head, and wore purple specticals that looked like they were connected to his eyes.

**Yakko, Archie, and George: Homer Simpson?**

He was riding on a dome-shaped hovercraft.

Then, a 7-year old,tough looking boy rode up to the figure on a horse...

**Yakko: Don Q, Son of Zorro!**

..."ok, tubby, I got the other peice. Now give me the dough like you promised." said Moe...

**George: "Now! Give me the freakin' donuts or I'll go mad!!!"**

..."now now, Moe,lets not be to hasty...

**Archie: "Knight Rider is on!"**

...Give me the medallion first." Dr.Eggman said,reaching for the peice of the medallion Moe had.

Moe quickly put it behind his back.

"No way. The money first..."

**George: "Once I get the money I can buy that cute, little bunny I've always wanted!"**

...suddenly, there was a sudden flash and the strange object that moe had was gone.

"_HEY!_"

"Thank you, woodstalk." Dr.Eggman said with a laugh...

**Yakko: "I just remembered the funniest joke on Camp Lazlo today!"**

..."no problem." said the little yellow bird as he droped the peice into his hands.

**Archie: "You spelled piece wrong, you stupid bird!"**

**George: "I before E except after C... I before E except after C... I before E except after C... " **

...Moe growled.

"You tricked me! You fat,ugly..." Moe began.

"Don't worry boy,you will get WAY more money than I promised when I unlock the secret of the cave of wonders.

Moe glared at Dr.Eggman, but didn't say anything.

**Yakko: His belt's down.**

Slowly, Dr.Eggman took out the other peice of the golden medallionhe...

**Archie: medallionhe... medallionhe... Nope! Can't find it in the dictionary!**

...had and put the two peices together.

_**ZING!**_

"HUH?"

"WHA?"

"FOLLOW IT!"

When the two peices were put together, the madallion somehow came to life and was zipping across the desrert.

**George: "Rabid seagulls! Rabid seagulls!"**

Moe, Dr.eggman, and woodstalk raced after it until the two peices split apart and landed on a small hill.

Then everything beganto rumble, and the hill rose up from the ground, taking the shape of a tiger head. The two peices of the medallion were forming into its eyes, and its mouth looked lke the entrence of a cave.

"**WHO DESTURBS MY SLUMBER?" **the cave of wonders boomed...

**Archie: "I was just dreaming about teddy bears and fluffy unicorns!" **

...Moe nervousely steped up to the cave and mumbled "it is I, Moe."

**"KNOW THIS, ONLY THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH SHALL ENTER AND TAKE THE TREASURE..."**

**Yakko: He's got an american express card!**

...Dr.Eggman and woodstalk looked at each other with confusion. Moe shrugged his shoulders and started for the cave, but hesitated,...

**George: Wise, seeing that it just ate burritos for lunch.**

...thinking the cave would eat him or something.

"Don't just stand there! Go in you buffoon!" shouted Eggman...

**Yakko: "Or I won't give you that bannana like I promised!"**

...Moe slowly pressed his foot down into the cave, and when he noticed that nothing happend, he relaxed and continued.

Suddenly, the cave let out a tremendouse rour...

**Archie: GODZILLA!**

...and before Moe could get out,The cave slammed shut and began to decend into the ground.

**"SEEK OUT THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH... DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH..."**

The cave collapsed, and woodstalk went to get the medallion peices...

**George: "When are you going to give me my raise?!"**

..."GREAT! Just great! we went through all that, just to end up failing _AGAIN!_ I'm so mad, It feels like all my feathers are gonna fall off!" he screamed.

Dr.Eggman stared at the night sky.

"Its not over yet. All we must do to get what we seek it find this 'diamond in the rough...' " Eggman hissed...

**Archie: "Diamond in the rough" only for a limited time! Hurry! Get your lazy butt off the couch and run to the nearest jewlery store!**

..."STOP THEIF!"

It was morning in comicaba,...

**Yakko: And G.I. Joe was there!**

...and on a rooftop, a small boy was running from the castle guards.

He was about six years old, he had a red shirt with black stripes, black pants, and white sneakers with a bit of red on them. His hair looked like it had been hit by lightning...

**George: A perfect instrument for Benjamen Franklin!**

...He was runing across the roof of a house with a large loaf of bread in his hands. His name was Calvin, and boy was he in trouble!...

**Yakko: He has been accused of theft, robbery, and stealing!**

..."We're gonna strangle your puny little neck when we catch up to you, street rat!"...

**Archie: "You better give me back my underwear!"**

...the head guard, Knuckles the Echidna, shouted.

"Jeez, all this for a loaf of bread?" said Calvin.

with nowhere elde to go,...

**George: He's being attacked be elders?**

...Calvin jumped off the building only to be engulfed by millions of clouthslines. Screaming all the way, Calvin zipped down one of the clouthslines hoping he would be able to land safly in the window he was headed for.

unfortunetly, a fat lady was at the window, and when she saw Calvin headed strait for her, she screamed and slammed the windows shut...

**Archie: Bad hairday.**

_...**WHAM!**_

ouch...

**Yakko: My hernia!**

...The force from the slam against the window made Calvin flat as a pancake. Slowly, he floated to the ground like a...

**Archie: Anvil!**

...leaf.

When he landed, he noticed Charlie brown, Amy rose the Hedgehog, Mary Jane, and Rouge the Bat laughing at him...

**George: "You forgot your pants!"**

...Calvin, trying to look his best, walked over to them, not noticing the guards were yelling at him from the rooftop.

"evening ladies (and bald kid), hows it going?" Calvin said smoothly.

"isn't it a bit early for you to say 'good evening'?" asked Amy...

**Archie: "It's been ten years!"**

..."yeah, and besides, you need to get outta here, because it looks like your in trouble." said Rouge.

Calvin gave them a smirk. "_trouble?_ nah, your only in trouble if you get caught!"

"GOTCHYA!"

"now I'm in trouble."

Calvin was in a death grip by one of the other guards,...

**Yakko: Chuck Norris.**

...Hagar the horrible. (or just hagar.)

suddenly, in a flash of orange, a tiger came out from nowhere and pounced on hagar, knocking him to his feet.

"nice timing, Hobbes!" calvin said with a grin...

**George: "I've got his wallet!"**

..."Hey, its what I'm here for!" said Hobbes.

Suddenly, more guards began to arrive.

"C'mon Hobbes, we gotta split!" Calvin yelped.

And of course, a song scene comes up, as Calvin began to sing while dodging gaurds.

Calvin:**_One jump, ahead of the breadline, one swing, ahead of the sword..._**

**Yakko: _This scene is dumb!_**

...(Hobbes stuck his toung out at the guards as one of them tried to slash them with his sword. Calvin quickly pulled the guys pant's down)

Calvin:**_I steal only what I can't afford!..._**

**Archie: _It is free gum!_**

...(the gaurd pulled a fish from a nearby stand and used it for pants)

Calvin:**_One jump, ahead of the lawman,_**

_**Thats all, its no joke.**_

_**These guys don't appreciate I'm broke!...**_

**George: "_Still can't buy free gum!"_**

...(Calvin and Hobbes scrambled up a platform with barrels, knocking the barrels on the gaurds.

gaurds:**_Riffraff!_**

_**Street Rat!**_

_**Scoundrel!**_

_**Take that!...**_

**Yakko: Wow! Who knew that they would hate mutton?**

...Calvin and Hobbes:**_Just a little snack guys_**

(the gaurds shook the platform furiousely, trying to knock Calvin and Hobbes off it.)

gaurds:**_RIP HIM OPEN, TAKE IT BACK GUYS!..._**

**Archie: "Give me my freakin' wallet!"**

...Calvin:**_I can take a hint, gotta face the facts._**

(Calvin jumped off the platform, certain he was going to die, but luckily, Hobbes grabbed him just in time.)

Calvin:**_Your my only freind, Hobbes!..._**

**George: What's a _freind?_**

**Yakko: I think it's some kind of pasta.**

**Archie: Hobbes is a type of pasta?**

...(Calvin and Hobbes swung into a house filled with girls.)

girls:**_Who? Oh, its sad that Calvins hit the bottom! he's become a one-man rise in crime!_**

(Hobbes stuffed his mouth full of fruit, while Calvin accidently bumped into mrs.wormwood.

mrs.wormwood:**_I'd blame his parents, excpt he hasn't got 'em!_**

Calvin:**_Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat,_**

_**Tell you all about it when I got the time!...**_

**George: I hate songs...**

...(Calvin and Hobbes jumped back to the ground, again having to dodge gaurds.)

Calvin:**_one jump, ahead of the slowpokes!_**

_**One skip, ahead of my doom!...**_

**Yakko: Hurry! We must call the lawers of Disney!**

...(Calvin and Hobbes hid behind a macho muscle man, mimmiking his move until they made a mistake.)

Calvin:**_next time, gotta use a nom de plume!_**

(Calvin and Hobbes hid into a flock of sheep.)

Calvin:**_One jump, ahead of the hitman!_**

_**One hit ahead of the flock!**_

_**I think I'll take a stroll around the block...**_

(Calvin and Hobbes ran through the market, but Hobbes stoped to steal some stuff...)

**Archie: All what he can steal is wallets.**

...shopkeeper:**_Stop theif!_**

shopper:**_Vadal!..._**

**George: Who can spell vandal incorrectly?!**

...Calvin:HOBBES!

(Calvin grabbed Hobbes, and the two were now cornerd...

**Yakko: I didn't know that Calvin was a nerd!**

...up to a door.)

Calvin:**_lets not be too hasty..._**

(the door swung open, reveiling miss piggy from the muppets,who grabbed Calvin and cradled him in her arms.)

miss piggy:**_Still I think he's RATHER TASTY!_**

(Calvin made a puking expression, escaped her arms, and then put his arms around knuckles and hagar's shoulders, like they were old freinds.)

Calvin:**_Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, otherwise we'd all get along!_**

guards:**_WRONG!_**

(Calvin and Hobbes ran past a dude who was swallowing swords, except hobbes grabbed it out of his mouth and pointed it at the gaurds, who screamed and backed away from the sword-weilding Hobbes)

"HE'S GOT...

**Archie: Ham!**

...A SWORD!" one of the guards screamed.

"You idiot, weve ALL got swords!" Knuckles shouted, pulling out his sword. Every other gaurd did the same.

Hobbes gave an innocent smile as he put the sword he held down and ran back to Calvin.

Calvin:**_one jump, ahead of the hoof beats!_**

guards:**_VANDAL!_**

Calvin:**_One hop, ahead of the hump!_**

crowd:**_STREET RAT!_**

Calvin:**_One trick, ahead of disaster!_**

guards:**_SCOUNDREL!_**

Calvin:**_the're quick, but I'm much faster!_**

Crowed and guards:**_TAKE THAT!_**

(calvin walked to the edge of the roof he was on)

Calvin:**_Here goes- Better hold my hand in wish me happy landin' all I gotta do is JUMP!_**

Calvin and Hobbes jumped off the roof, and safly landed in a pile of soft pillows, while the guards landed in a cart filled with cow manuer...

**George: When they quickly got devoured by flies!**

..."your gonna be able to pay for that, right?" the owner of the cart asked.

"ALRIGHT!" Calvin and Hobbes shouted as they sat down to eat.

"another job well done. lets eat!" said Hobbes.

Calvin was about to eat, but he noticed two kids, Hammie and Zoe, digging in a trash can to find food...

**Yakko: "Hey! I foun a Counting Crows album!"**

...When they saw Calvin, they quickly hid behind the trash can.

Calvin tried to ignore them, but he couldan't...

**Archie: There's so many spelling mistakes, that it isn't even funny.**

...help it. He turned to Hobbes and asked him what to do.

"Hey, just do the right thing." said Hobbes who took a chomp on his half of the bread.

Calvin sighed and walked over to the two kids.

"here." he said simpily.

"huh? your just gonna GIVE this to us?" said zoe...

**George: "That's a rotten bannana peel!"**

..."yeah, you worked so hard for it." said hammie.

"I've been through worse, besides I can get more." Calvin said with a smile.

Zoe and Hammie smiled back and took the bread.

Hobbes looked at his bread gulty. He was the one who said to do the right thing, and yet he selfishly chomped into what should have been Zoe and Hammie's.

Hobbes went over to the kids.

"Here. Take it. Just take it, The gult is getting to me." he said...

**Archie: Gult... sounds like gulf.**

...Zoe smiled, took the bread, and scratched Hobbes under his chin.

Hobbes liked this alot.

Suddenly, a trumpet rang out.

Rushing to the streets, Calvin and Hobbes glanced at the figure riding on a horse twords the palace.

He was prince Antonie, and not suprising, he was another prince going to ask the princess for her hand in marrige...

**Yakko: She had lots of cheese!**

...Suddenly, Calvin noticed Zoe and Hammie rushing up to the prince's horse!

"Out of my vay, brats!" Antonie shouted to them, taking out his sword.

Calvin jumped in and knocked the sword out of Antonies hand...

**George: "You owe me hotdogs!"**

..."HEY!" Calvin said. "If I were as rich as you, I would try to afford some manners!"

"_Manners!_ Ha! I vill show you manners!" With one swipe, Antonie knocked Calvin to the ground. Hobbes ran up to help.

Calvin smirked...

**Yakko: "Sorry... I have gas."**

..."y'know, Hobbes, its not everyday you see a horse with TWO rear ends!"

Antonie stopped his hores and glared at Calvin.

"YOU are nothing but a ztreet rat, you vere BORN a ztreet rat, you vill DIE a ztreet rat and onlee your fleas vill morn you!" Antonie laughed nastly.

Calvin was about to explode. In a fit of rage, He Charged twords the gate with a fist up,...

**Archie: "...and that's how you beat level one!" **

...but the gate closed.

Calvin glared at the door.

"I'm NOT a street rat. And I don't have fleas..."

**George: He has ticks.**

...He mumbled sadly.

As he and Hobbes walked home, Calvin sadly began to sing...

**Yakko, Archie, and George: Oh god.**

...Calvin:**_Riffraff, street rat. _**

_**I dont buy that.**_

_**If only they'd look closer.**_

_**would they see a poor guy...?**_

_**no siree.**_

_**they'd find out theres so much to more to me...**_

**Yakko: He actually sleeps with a night light.**

...When calvin and Hobbes got home, Hobbes went right to sleep, but Calvin walked up to his window.

"someday Hobbes," Calvin said, not relizing Hobbes was asleep. "Things are gonna be differant. We'll live in a palace, be rich, and never have any problems at all..."

The next morning at the palace, things were not pretty...

**Archie: Were they ugly then? **

..."I HAVE NEVER BEEN ZO INZULTED IN ALL MY LIFE!" prince antonie fumed as he stormed out of the palace gates.

The sultan, Jon Arbuckle, tried to calm the french-accented prince down.

"Wait! Antonie! you can't leave _now_!" he said, noticing a large rip in the back of Ant's pants.

ha ha. "Ant's pants". I crack myself up...

**George: Dork.**

...The hole exposed Antonie's white boxers with hearts on them.

"good luck trying to marry _HER_ off!" the grumpy prince shouted as he stomped away...

**Yakko: He just lost in a game of checkers.**

...Jon sighed. "oh sally."

Jon walked out to the garden where the princess was. It never failed. Everytime another prince came, she would turn him down. Jon was getting sick of it.

"Sally!" he called. "Sally, why do y-" but before he could even reach her, something popped up in his way...

**Archie: Farfidnugen!**

...It was a small, white beagle-like dog that had black ears and a black spot on its stomach with a torn peice of underwear in its mouth.

"_snoopy!"_ Jon shouted at the small dog.

"calm down, uncle Jon. Snoopy was just playing, weren't you snoopy?" Sally said snuggling snoopy in her lap.

"Sally, your just as annoying as your wishy-washy brother, Charlie Brown. Its a good thing he got sat on by that camel last tuesday.But thats not my point. The law clearly states that..."

**George: She must pick her nose.**

"...You must be married to a prince." Sally and Jon said at the same time. "Uncle, I know about the law, but its _wrong_. I want to marry for love. And every prince you call on is a royal jerk."

Jon sighed. "sally, I understand how you feel. If your parents were alive, maybe we wouldan't have this problem. But I'm just worried that if you marry a non-royal person, well..."

"Uncle, not all non-rich people are thieves. Now leave me alone." sally scoffed at him...

**Yakko: "You never got me any of the stuff I wanted for christmas!"**

...Jon sighed and headed into his room were he had a miniature version of comicaba.

"what am I gonna do with her?" he said as he played with his toy palace thing...

**Archie: Before he makes his desicision he should go se a psychiatrist.**

...suddenly, someone stepped into the room. Jon was startled, but then he relized who had come in.

"ah, Dr. eggman, my trusted advisor! How I am glad to see you." Jon said with relief...

**George: "I love to eat you for breakfst every day!"**

..."I am here to serve your every whim, your highness." Dr. eggman said with a bow.

"RAAAWK-every whim-RAAAAWK!" woodstalk screeched...

**Yakko: Looks like Woodstalk got in the jellybeans again.**

...Jon noticed woodstalk perched on dr.eggman's shoulder and smiled.

"Polly want a cracker?" Jon said while taking out a small, ordinary salted cracker from his pocket.

Although woodstalk hesitated, Jon stuffed the cracker down his throat.

"GAG!..."

**Archie: "You forgot the cheese!'**

..."I don't know what I'm going to do with her, Dr. I've called almost every prince in the world!" Jon moaned.

"I'm sure theres a prince out there for her, your highness. Now, I really need a favor from you." Dr.Eggman said with an evil smile.

"I'll just skip to the point. I need your ring." Jon looked shocked. "M-My _ring?_" He stammerd. "but its an old family airloom!..."

**George: I've worked two weeks on that!"**

...Dr.Eggman lowerd the end of his staff so the carving of a snakes head was eye to eye with Jon. Then the eyes of the snake began to glow.

"The ring WILL be mine." said Eggman.

"the ring... will be yours.." repeated Jon, hypnotized...

**Yakko: I can't believe it... therapy actually works!**

..."everything will be alright."

"everything... will..be all..allright..."

Jon slowly took off his ring, wich had a huge sapphire. He dropped it right into Eggman's hand...

**Archie: "Meh... I like rubies better."**

..."Good." said eggman. "now, your highness, go on and play with your toys. I have buisness to do."

Eggman shoved Jon over to his miniature city, who was still standing there, with a stupid look on his face.

Woodstalk Gaged again. "IF I EVER HAVE TO GAG DOWN ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE DISGUSTING, MOLDY, PUTRID CRACKERS AGAIN, I SEAR I'M GONNA... AAAAAAAAAAAGH!" He screamed...

**George: He demands CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

...Eggman grinned. "Don't worry, Woodstalk. Soon, we will both have our revenge."

woodstalk smirked at him. "yeah and I'll be the one shoving the crackers down HIS throat!"

The two laughed evily.

**Yakko: "Family Circus was so funny today!"**

**They get up from their seats and leave the theater.**


End file.
